Love your neighbor.

Oct 27

One of the most profound movie scenes I have ever seen is from the movie Forrest Gump. There are so many wonderful parts to the movie, but there’s one scene that stands out the most to me. Forrest and Jenny became friends as children and then led very different lives. When they were adults, Jenny comes home to see Forrest after living a very lost and hard life and they pick up right where they left off. As they were out walking and talking one day, they come up to what must be Jenny’s childhood home. She immediately is filled with anger and starts throwing rocks violently at the house.

She collapses to the ground and it looks like Forrest doesn’t know what to do or how to react so he does the most important thing he could do — he sits down beside her. He was being present in whatever she was going through — the hurt and pain she experienced as a child or whatever memory that was brought to her mind after seeing that home.

There is ministry in presence. I have seen it in my own life and in my daughters’ lives. In the book Helping Without Hurting in Short Term Missions, the author says this about the difference in presence vs. projects: “Your presence speaks volumes. What would it look like if we considered a healthy presence — rather than our knowledge, resources, or ideas — the most important to bring when arriving on the field?” More than anything, being present far outweighs what we think we can give or do on a mission trip.

I remember a wonderful moment I experienced on a mission trip in Chicago one evening when we were about to serve a meal at a soup kitchen. As a youth minister, I encouraged students to talk to the people we were going to serve. Ask their names, begin a conversation with them and that’s what I did with a gentleman sitting at a nearby table. I asked his name and where he was from. He told me he was from a small town in Alabama and was sure I had never heard of it.

I asked the name of the town and he said Eclectic. I immediately felt a connection to him as I told him I had been there many times while spending time with my grandparents at Lake Martin. We then shared stories about the local diner we both loved going to and the store next door that I always went to with my Grammy. This became a really wonderful connection and a new friendship for me.

So what does it look like to love your neighbors on a mission trip or day of service? Yes, there is often work to be done, but if you feel like God is nudging you to start a conversation with someone you are serving, then follow that prompting. There are stories to be heard, joyful and hard moments to be shared. Each of us has a story to tell and the best thing you can do on a mission trip is to ask God to lead you to someone to talk to, and then ask great questions. Relationships far outweigh a wall you paint or a yard you landscape.

Here are a few questions to get you started:

Hi, my name is…! What’s your name?
Where are you from? Ask them about their hometown. Where did you go to school? Did you play sports, have any fun memories?
Do you have any brothers or sisters? Are you the oldest? Youngest? Tell them a funny story you remember about growing up and ask if they have any funny stories. What were your parents like? What games did you often play?
Do you have a spiritual belief? Did you grow up going to church? What was it like? This could lead to an opportunity to share your faith with them!
What’s your favorite food? Would you rather go to the mountains or the beach? What is your favorite movie and why? What have you done mostly for work?

*Remember this: it would be super awkward to walk up to someone and say: hi my name is… do you have any brothers or sisters or what’s your favorite food? Let the conversation be natural the same way you would with a new friend you meet. Because, that’s what they will be.

A special thank you to my friend, Joel Miller, for helping me think of great conversation starters!